I really enjoyed reading about the cause of conflict and interpersonal conflict on pg 164. I liked the way conflict was defined as "whenever two people have incompatible goals." Here is a silly example from my own life. The other night my fiance really want to be close to me and kiss me, however, I was exhausted and wanted to sleep. My desire to sleep and his desire to be intimate are definitely incompatible goals.
I also enjoyed reading up on the way people express conflict. Some people are the withdrawers and others are the forcers. I am definitely a withdrawer as for my fiance tends to use more of the forceful tactic or a compromiser. I hate dealing with problems and will often avoid them if I can, which isn't healthy because then the problem usually only gets worse. Either I withdraw or I accommodate, meaning I give in to what the other person wants right away which is another way of giving up or not really dealing with the way I feel about a problem. It was good for me to realize where I need some work in expressing conflict in a productive way. Conflicts have to occur for growth to occur and this is a lesson that I am continually learning.
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I can definitely relate to you on the withdrawer and the compromiser bit. I do the same thing. I don't like conflict to begin with and if it has to happen I just tend to give in and give people what they want or I walk away.
While being this type has its downfalls forcers definitely have cons as well. No one wants to be around someone with the attitude of "its my way or the high way" so I think its good for everyone to learn about conflict and how to turn it into a positive experience, something you can learn from rather than something that should be avoided at all costs.
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