I really enjoyed chapters three and four because it talked all about listening and language. I know personally that I am trying to become a better listener. As a typical female I enjoy to run my mouth which isn't always the best thing. I appreciate people who can just respectively listen. I am too impatient sometimes and want to just talk. These chapters taught me a lot about what it takes to use language effectively and also listen correctly.
I never really thought there was a wrong way to listen but there is. When someone listens but is actually thinking about the next thing they are going to say whether it has to do with the subject or not, this is not listening effectively. Just because your mouth is closed doesn't mean your ears are open.
My fiance is a wonderful listener and I often take it for granted. Every since we got engaged I have been trying to become a hands on listener and show him that I really respect him and care about what he is talking about. It is funny how so many people want to talk their heads off but rarely want to listen. We need to be able to do both well to be good communicators.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
week6 post 2
Is is possible to perceive people without judging them? I don't think it is. I believe as humans when we were born we did not know what judgement meant. Judging people is something that is taught it is not a trait we are born with. If you put a bunch of two year old of all different ethnicity's in one room and left them alone. It is my guess that within a few minutes they would all be playing together and having fun. If the age were to change from 2 to 22 I don't think we can honestly say that we wouldn't pass judgements on each other before verbally interacting.
In chapter four of the text it talked about abstraction: creating general categories. An abstraction is simply a synthesis of what many things have in common. In some ways abstractions are helpful because it helps us to define and group things such as a cats. My cat might be my friend and hold sentimental value, but she falls under the category of cat.
Abstractions can be dangerous too though. Sometimes abstractions lead to stereotyping. Instead of describing a person for by their personality and qualities we often label people by their race. This causes people to loose their uniqueness (101.)
As a christian I don't believe that we as people are called to judge each other, but rather to love each other. Judging is God's job. We don't have any right to judge others, I know I don't like when people judge me.
In chapter four of the text it talked about abstraction: creating general categories. An abstraction is simply a synthesis of what many things have in common. In some ways abstractions are helpful because it helps us to define and group things such as a cats. My cat might be my friend and hold sentimental value, but she falls under the category of cat.
Abstractions can be dangerous too though. Sometimes abstractions lead to stereotyping. Instead of describing a person for by their personality and qualities we often label people by their race. This causes people to loose their uniqueness (101.)
As a christian I don't believe that we as people are called to judge each other, but rather to love each other. Judging is God's job. We don't have any right to judge others, I know I don't like when people judge me.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
week 6 post 1
According to chapter four there is a wonderful chart laid out for us on pg 93 that shows the major differences between men and women when it comes to language. I believe that men and women really are a different species when it comes to most things. As a woman I enjoy long meaningful conversations that build up my relationships opposed to small talk and insignificant trivia. I pay attention to details and it is the little things people say or do for me that make a world of difference.
I just recently got engaged and I have already learned so much abut my fiance that I never knew through the planning of our wedding. He is all business and likes to get things done. Where as I like to take my time and enjoy the planning process. He wants to talk about how much things are going to cost where as I want to talk about the music and decorations. It can be really stressful planning a wedding, but that is why it is so important that we both are clear in our communication so that we don't end up fighting over misunderstandings.
I liked how the chart broke language down into categories such as: quantity, topics, vocabulary, grammatical, humor, and self-disclosure. A lot of the language differences between genders I already knew, however there were a few I had never really thought of. One thing I found interesting is that women use more qualifiers such as: somewhat, kind of, and I guess. Another point that also falls under the grammatical constructions category is that women use more tag questions. Tag questions are things like "Right?" and "You know?" Now that I think about it I often use tag questions when I am having a conversation, especially when I am talking to my fiance. I say "you know what I mean?" a lot.
I also found it interesting that men choose more of the topics to discuss, and they interrupt more. I know that in my relationship with Brad I tend to interrupt more and that I need to practice some self control when it comes to talking. What it all boils down to is that men and women are very different in the way they approach language. That is why male female relationships are so fun and complex because we have so much to learn about the other gender.
I just recently got engaged and I have already learned so much abut my fiance that I never knew through the planning of our wedding. He is all business and likes to get things done. Where as I like to take my time and enjoy the planning process. He wants to talk about how much things are going to cost where as I want to talk about the music and decorations. It can be really stressful planning a wedding, but that is why it is so important that we both are clear in our communication so that we don't end up fighting over misunderstandings.
I liked how the chart broke language down into categories such as: quantity, topics, vocabulary, grammatical, humor, and self-disclosure. A lot of the language differences between genders I already knew, however there were a few I had never really thought of. One thing I found interesting is that women use more qualifiers such as: somewhat, kind of, and I guess. Another point that also falls under the grammatical constructions category is that women use more tag questions. Tag questions are things like "Right?" and "You know?" Now that I think about it I often use tag questions when I am having a conversation, especially when I am talking to my fiance. I say "you know what I mean?" a lot.
I also found it interesting that men choose more of the topics to discuss, and they interrupt more. I know that in my relationship with Brad I tend to interrupt more and that I need to practice some self control when it comes to talking. What it all boils down to is that men and women are very different in the way they approach language. That is why male female relationships are so fun and complex because we have so much to learn about the other gender.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)