According to chapter four there is a wonderful chart laid out for us on pg 93 that shows the major differences between men and women when it comes to language. I believe that men and women really are a different species when it comes to most things. As a woman I enjoy long meaningful conversations that build up my relationships opposed to small talk and insignificant trivia. I pay attention to details and it is the little things people say or do for me that make a world of difference.
I just recently got engaged and I have already learned so much abut my fiance that I never knew through the planning of our wedding. He is all business and likes to get things done. Where as I like to take my time and enjoy the planning process. He wants to talk about how much things are going to cost where as I want to talk about the music and decorations. It can be really stressful planning a wedding, but that is why it is so important that we both are clear in our communication so that we don't end up fighting over misunderstandings.
I liked how the chart broke language down into categories such as: quantity, topics, vocabulary, grammatical, humor, and self-disclosure. A lot of the language differences between genders I already knew, however there were a few I had never really thought of. One thing I found interesting is that women use more qualifiers such as: somewhat, kind of, and I guess. Another point that also falls under the grammatical constructions category is that women use more tag questions. Tag questions are things like "Right?" and "You know?" Now that I think about it I often use tag questions when I am having a conversation, especially when I am talking to my fiance. I say "you know what I mean?" a lot.
I also found it interesting that men choose more of the topics to discuss, and they interrupt more. I know that in my relationship with Brad I tend to interrupt more and that I need to practice some self control when it comes to talking. What it all boils down to is that men and women are very different in the way they approach language. That is why male female relationships are so fun and complex because we have so much to learn about the other gender.
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2 comments:
I agree with you about wanting more in depth conversations with people rather than small talk and insignificant trivia. I want to know all the details about whatever I am talking about whereas my boyfriend could care less about the details. A friend recently had a baby and I asked him what's the name, how much did he weigh, when was he born? He knew none of the answers!! He just knew the baby was born. Men tend to want to know the facts and while women want to know the facts we also want to know details about the facts. Personally it helps me paint a better picture of what we are talking about. Congratulations on your engagement!
I hate thinking about stereotypes and language differences, but I have found that conversations with my female friends differ greatly from conversations with my male friends. When I am engaging in conversation, I also tend to think about details and analyze every little bit of conversation. Most men that I know seem more straightforward and to the point in their language. I think your wedding planning is a great example that shows male and female language differences. I agree with you- I found the chapter interesting because I think that I tend to interrupt more, too! :)
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